My Dd has her 11+ exams this year begining in Sept, and iam panicking, that she will fail!! big time she has been attending a year long course, concentrating on VR/NVR?Maths and English and I feel like shes gone down hill since she started, she had a Mock test in Sept and the results were terrible for all her papers, it is a battle at home to get her to concentrate, she is in the top set at school, gets level 5,s. and i thought she was bright? I have tried all the different hats, and nothing seems to work. any advice

As hard as it will be - try to stop panicking. Congratulate your Dd on doing her best and working so hard all year. Then stay positive and take every opportunity to congratulate her when she does a little better than before. A reward system can be a good incentive (but make it achievable!). Your expectations may be a little too much for her to cope with?!?!

Thankyou, but I have tried the reward system. It will be okay for a while then she will get bored by it, and kick off.

Dusty - If your daughter is 'kicking off' at the prospect of work this is bad news and you have my sympathies. Attendance at school is compulsory, and doing work at school is compulsory – somehow you need to add 11 Plus homework to the list of things which the child accepts as compulsory. Your child accepts the first two without question, so how do you make her accept the third as a normal part of her life? Here are three practical suggestions. The first two are based on the principles that children copy each other and love to compete.

1) Take her to a place where other children will be who have the right attitude to work. Children copy each other and they should be a good influence on her. One such place is at the Chuckra Mock Tests, which take place in Buckinghamshire, Kent and Redbridge, where she will see many positive attitudes to copy. She has to see that studying is normal, whereas playing on a PlayStation or watching TV all day or ‘kicking off’ is not.

2) Even if you are not near the Chuckra test centres, try and arrange for her to compete with a child of similar ability. You will be amazed by the way a child will concentrate in order to beat their friend in a test, and it is a much more effective way to motivate the child than trying to explain about the benefits of a good education. Find a child who will set a good example, or, if you cannot, find a tutor who encourages competition in small groups of similar ability.

3) Ask for the help of another adult or older child in your family circle who will be able to ‘join forces’ with you in your mission. Choose someone whose authority the child respects.

Don't worry i was exactly like that when i was doing my 11+
but 1 thing you shoud do is tell your daughter about the consequences if she does not get into a grammar school and gets into a local comprehensive school instead.
Also tell her about the great things she can do if she gets into a grammar school.
I have got other tips as well if you are interested then please let me know and i will certainly help you.

Yes thanku so much I would be interested in any tips you have. some times she is ok and then its like it gets too much for her and she wants to let of steam, and iam the nearest thing to her. she only does her practice 2 hours a day, 1 hour in the morning and 1 in the evening.I have told her about the consequences but she says she doesnt care when she is most angry. As her older sister goes to grammar school I would obviously love her to be at the same school as her sister, as she is just as bright, what is upsetting me is that she seems to want to throw it all away for her willfulness.